Less Stuff, More Adventure by Michele Aspinall
"As soon as children find something that interests them, they lose their instability and learn to concentrate." Maria Montessori.
Children can independently work and play when provided with the right tools within an environment that suits their developmental needs as young as infancy. This is precisely why Montessori stressed the importance of a prepared environment. While you don't have to recreate your child's classroom in your own home, as with discipline, many physical elements should remain consistent from home to school for him to succeed.
It’s far too easy for today's parents to measure their love based on the amount of "stuff" they impart to their children. Typically, little thought goes into each toy purchased, primarily because they are given a steady stream from infancy. But every toy is essential to our children's development. They teach them about the world, how to communicate, how to relate, how to create, convey values, and how to imagine. Intentional parents learn to limit the number of toys yielded. If managed thoughtfully, the benefits reaped will be great.
To start, most practically, the mess itself will be nonexistent if the number of toys is limited. Less stuff equals a tidier and cleaner life at home. During home visits, I often see entire rooms and the child's filled-to-the-brim living quarters dedicated to nothing but toys. They tend to take over the house of most young families. I usually begin my list of recommendations with one of the most straightforward tasks gaining parental control. I tell these loving, well-intended parents to PURGE. Donate, recycle, re-gift, or toss to the curb. Whatever it takes to cleanse their home of all the extra is becoming detrimental to their child's ability to play.
Not long after the eradication is complete, these same parents observe more imaginative and resourceful play in their children. They see their children using their surroundings to create a world within itself. They create games independently with blocks, dolls, cars, resin animals, or a chest of old dress-up clothes. The play ends when they want it to end. The toy itself doesn't shut down or say game-over; this is purely up to the child. "Imagination does not become great until human beings, given the courage and the strength, use it to create." Maria Montessori.
Also, with fewer toys, the play results in more focused and concentrated activity. Surrounded by endless options, a child is often over-stimulated and indecisive. He ends up spending very little time with one activity as he is drawn to the countless possibilities that ultimately distract him. This lack of focus displays itself early in the Montessori classroom. The bottom line: if a child lives in a home of excess, he is often challenged by the prospect of completing a task that requires stamina and endurance. The lessons in the classroom often involve a long sequence of activities, which build concentration. As the child grows, the sequence grows. He is expected to remain with his "work" until the undertaking is complete, an almost impossible quest for a child without experience attending to anything for very long.
What other advantage accompanies having fewer toys? A sense of gratitude for the ones you do have! Gratitude and thankfulness are just as much a part of the Montessori curriculum as learning numbers and letters. Teaching the idea of gratitude at home goes deeper than skimming back on purchases, but it's a great place to start. Many of us have mindlessly adopted a selfish mentality about the stuff we have. We deserve it. We are entitled to it. We are passing this claim on to our future generations. America's "Black Friday" couldn't be a more fitting example of the contradictory messaging sent to our young children every Thanksgiving. A gathering of family and friends is now partnered with the impression of consumerism and greed. When children have less, they learn to appreciate and value their belongings, and with this appreciation comes care. The care for the environment and all it contains is a hallmark of Montessori education.
After reducing the toys, the next step is to choose toys that encourage creativity and imagination, not restricted or have only one purpose or goal. Toys that don't create passive bystanders, children are waiting for the lights, bells, and whistles and lose interest as soon as the toy is powered down. Think simple. I like to step back in the toy aisle and ask myself, "Which one will offer more than one perspective, more than one way to construct, more than one way to explore." Not an easy task today. Even the classic "Lego" is cramping imagination. Forty-something years ago, my brother had a small bin filled with Legos. There were no directions and no original kits, only ideas formed by the child placed in front of it. Children are natural explorers. They have an innate desire to discover, learn, and play. By eliminating the excess and the distractions, we give them the freedom to do what comes naturally to them.
"Let the children be free; encourage them; let them run outside when it is raining; let them remove their shoes when they find a puddle of water; and, when the grass of the meadows is damp with dew, let them run on it and trample it with their bare feet; let them rest peacefully when a tree invites them to sleep beneath its shade; let them shout and laugh when the sun wakes them in the morning as it wakes every living creature that divides its day between waking and sleeping." Maria Montessori.
We've concluded that fewer toys will encourage your children to play in diverse ways. They also will be compelled to play outside more! They will find themselves in more active, unstructured play. Traditional outdoor games of yesterday: Freeze Tag, Simon Says, Kick the Can, and Hopscotch, is no longer permeating neighborhoods. However, games like these resonate in children today just as they did decades ago. Though they are disappearing as quickly as the laced shoe, these unstructured pastimes will always remain as memory makers. Not only do they evoke endless laughter, but they also continue to teach our children self-control, social skills, respect for others, and conflict resolution.
It seems ridiculous to advise parents today that playing outside is in their child's best interest, but I often do. Consequently, blogs and articles on the subject are increasing daily. They say that children suffer from Nature-Deficit Disorder; this term is coined by Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder. It refers to children having less experience with and connection to nature over the last few decades. One factor in my neck of the woods is leading this charge—after-school scheduled activities. With the onslaught of extracurricular activities available to families, the idea of unscheduled outdoor free time is becoming nonexistent. There was a time when parents were genuinely trying to balance the idea of providing their children with every possible opportunity, be it soccer, volleyball, piano, or academic tutoring, with that unscheduled free time. It feels like that train has left the station; the pressures parents feel from their peers intensify. It's becoming difficult not to feel judged if your child is not participating in multiple pursuits outside school.
We cannot discount the shift in preference from outdoor play to indoors due to our children's technology today. It cannot be ignored; screens are everywhere and tempting to us and, in turn, our children. Studies confirm that an average American child spends 5 to 8 minutes daily in unstructured play outdoors and more than 6 hours daily in front of a device—frightening numbers. And we know that the more time spent in front of a screen, the less interest our children have in occupying their own time, let alone doing it outside.
Parental fears about children playing outdoors are also on the rise. From the panic of possible injuries to the worry of inclement weather, the fact is parents are scared for their children. As a three to six-year-old teacher, I constantly reassure mothers and fathers alike that their children will be ok. But I can't promise that and don't try to. Things happen. That said, we do our very best to keep all children out of harm's way. However, when a concern of a bump, bruise, or scrape comes in, I remind them of all the possible dangers that are an inherent part of growing up. Bug bites, bumps, bruises, illnesses, hurt feelings, etc. that a child will likely experience by playing in the great outdoors. The reality is there is no such thing as an incident-free life. The element of risk in everyday life is inescapable, and we know, as Montessori educators, this is useful for teaching our children. Learning that there is a risk early allows a child to face reality and build resilience. We can't and shouldn't protect our children from these everyday obstacles. We must see childhood as a period during which we can aid our children on the path to adulthood by embracing success, happiness, struggles, challenges, and failures as opportunities to develop mature and robust character. This is a crucial part of our mission as Montessorians, and we frankly can't get there without parents' partnership.
Montessori articulates in The Montessori Method, "...man still belongs to nature, and especially when he is a child, he...draws from it the forces necessary to the development of the body and the spirit. We have intimate communications with nature which have an influence, even a material influence, on the growth of the body..."—depriving our children of nature and all that it offers means overlooking a basic instinct. So, get your children outside to take a walk, climb a tree, hear the whisper of leaves, dig up a worm, sense the wind on their faces, feel the rain on their heads, the sun on their skin, and most of all, to "be."
